Closure
by charlibubble
Summary: Entry to the March Challenge at CSIFO. A little bit of GSR ... attempting to relocate my Mojo. If found please return ASAP.


**I have sure been gone for a long time! I have felt my inspiration dry up of late, this is an attempt at getting those writing juices flowing again. My entry to the CSIFO March fan fiction challenge. Extreme Weather. **

**The story must begin with the phrase - ****"It was the night before . . ."******

The following **prompts**** must be used:  
****Sunset  
Soup  
Necklace  
Mine  
Goldfish**

**I'm not sure if this is any good or even if its spelled right, I had a very short time to get this out here so please go easy on me. I'd love some reviews :) and don't forget to check out CSIFO. **

**Hopefully this will help me find my muse again... love to you all! **

**Charli xx**

**In memory of Phyllis Frelich AKA Betty Grissom. **

It was the night before the funeral and the cloud that followed Sara around during her shift was unshakeable. She wanted to be there, to pay her last respects to her ex mother in law. She felt duty bound to do so and yet she didn't feel that she would be welcome. Grissom hadn't even told her, in fact she would probably be completely ignorant to the fact she had passed had it not been for an misaddressed sympathy card arriving through the post a few days ago.

She didn't blame him. She never did blame him for not considering her and the fact of the matter remained that he was not obligated to tell her things any more. She had to continue to remind herself of that right now, it was proving a lot more difficult than she had expected.

It was a long shift, everything seemingly conspiring against her or reminding her of Betty Grissom. The woman had been an unyielding force of nature. She had strength and intelligence oozing out of her pores and she had certainly not been afraid to go head to head with Sara over certain things; like the long distance marriage she had endured with her son.

Sara had to admit that with hindsight she had been right. It was difficult to maintain a loving, intimate relationship with thousands of mile between each other. A part of her wished she had listened to the woman those years ago, maybe this situation would never have arose.

"Well, someone is a million miles away" Remarked Greg, taking a seat in the break room directly across from her "something on your mind?"

Nick and Greg had made a real effort keep on top of her mental state since learning of her split with Grissom. It would annoy her if it wasn't so endearing and it helped sometimes to be reminded that she was still loved. Still, she wasn't sure she could tell Greg about what was on her mind. He would take her to breakfast, take her mind off of it and generally keep her company until the possibility of her attending the funeral was non-existent. She wasn't even sure that was what she wanted.

Despite their current marital status, Grissom had some kind of pull for her. The concept of seeing him again was both exciting and terrifying. She had pictured it many times as she lay in bed waiting for sleep to eventually wash over her. She would never claim to be a romantic but deep down she knew she was. Deep down she knew that there was still a glimmer of hope that he would suddenly see the light and decide to sweep her off her feet. However foolish that made her.

"I just... remembered I had somewhere I needed to be" Sara stumbled, she had made a decision. A last minute, probably misguided decision but it was too late now. Her body was in motion and her heart was guiding her all the way.

"At 5am?" Greg questioned, his eyebrow arched in suspicion.

"Yeah, will you cover me?" Sara didn't wait for an answer, she was already sliding her coat on and searching for her car-keys. "I need to go to my Mother-in-Law's funeral"

She was out of the building and in her car before Greg had the chance to talk her out of it. Luckily most of her wardrobe was suited to a funeral and she always kept an overnight bag in the trunk just in case. Nicky had teased her relentlessly when he had found out, he was a much more laid back personality. She liked to be prepared for every eventuality, a childhood full of uncertainty would do that to you.

It was a 4 hour drive to Santa Monica, she wondered if her heart was going to guide her head the whole way there or if at some point she would crumble in the middle of the highway. She had every right to attend, Mrs Grissom had brought up the only man she'd ever truly loved and had been a large part of her life for many years. They hadn't always seen eye to eye but Sara believed they had built their relationship on mutual respect and their unconditional, unwavering love for one man. Sara wondered if Betty had known of their split and what she had to say about it She was certain that in her eyes Sara had probably been at fault. After all, Gil was her son and she was always his biggest supporter. Closely followed by his wife, of course.

She drove into sunrise quietly wondering what lay ahead and whether she would be watching the sunset with tears in her eyes or not. Her cell had not stopped ringing since she left the lab and now it lay, silent as though respecting her need for solitude.

It was just after 9 by the time she had managed to tackle the Santa Monica rush hour. This wasn't a place she was familiar with, although she had visited a few times. She knew the route to Betty's home and nothing else and so she began following that road hoping to spot the chapel or the graveyard mentioned on the obituary.

After half an hour of driving around and getting completely lost she was about to give up. It occurred to her that it may have been a silly idea all along. Nobody would want her there, nobody would be happy to see her and nobody needed her. Especially not Grissom. It was with this thought that she turned the car around and spotted him, standing there on the crest of a small hilltop bathed in sunlight. He took her breath away despite her attempt at feigning contempt.

The sun further highlighted the white and grey in his hair, she could remember stroking her fingers through it in the sleepy confines of their bedroom while he regaled her ears with tales of Mythology, new discoveries and interesting facts. She missed that most of all, those moments of purity and honesty when nobody was watching.

She could feel her heart skipping as she pulled the car over and cautiously made her way outside. She couldn't predict how he would react, lately she had been unable to read him at all much less predict his actions. That could be where they ran into trouble, she had no idea he would have been considering a split.

Shaking off the depression she was causing herself she pushed her shoulders back and raised her head up before making her way up the hill towards the group of people gathered around the coffin. Grissom was standing at the front of the rows of chairs. He looked incredibly alone. Every fibre of her being wanted to go over and take her rightful place by his side. She wanted to wrap him in her arms and place feathery kisses on his cheek, she wanted to hold him and breathe in his scent and feel his warmth and listen to his heart beating.

But she couldn't do that. In fact, she didn't know what to do now that she was here. She didn't recognise any of these faces, probably one of the downfalls of not having a family wedding. Her heart was racing by the time she reached them. She slipped into a free chair on the back row, her eyes firmly fixed on Gil Grissom as she wrung her hands in her lap.

The service was beautiful, as she knew it would be. Grissom was a man of few words but the words he did use were always poignant and well chosen. She felt a lot like a goldfish in a bowl; eyes on her from all angles. The clouds began to roll in ominously as Grissom finished his speech and took his seat. Before long the entire sky was black and heavy. The congregated guests began to get restless as they shifted in their seats and looked at the sky with growing concern. Sara had intended to leave before the end of the ceremony, hoping that Grissom wouldn't actually see her just in case she saw disappointment in his eyes or worse, regret.

The weather was not on her side though, a rumble of thunder brought all eyes to the horizon and unfortunately enough that brought Grissom's eyes to hers. She had forgotten just how intense they were and how everything stopped when she looked into the magical deep blue of his eyes. Sara attempted to avert her gaze, it was awkward seeing him again, she didn't know how he would react, her stomach turned somersaults and her heart raced.

She wasn't even sure if it was anticipation or fear controlling her reaction. So much had happened since the last time she had spoken to him, there wasn't just water under this bridge there was a veritable river flowing under it.

The priest finished up the ceremony just as the heavens opened and Betty was laid to rest with torrential rainfall beating its own farewell on her casket. Most of the guests scurried away, retreating from the water that was now beating on them as hard as they could.

Sara held back, watching Grissom as he stood above the coffin and watched as it was slowly lowered into the ground. He didn't look up, didn't seek her or anyone else out, he obviously wanted to be alone and she respected that.

Trudging back to her truck she felt much more alone than she had previously. She had been ill-prepared for a reaction of indifference. In a way, resentment would have been easier to deal with.

She found herself sitting in the front seat watching the downpour in her rear-view mirror and pretending not to notice her wet, flat hair as it clung to her face or the streaks of mascara winding their way down her pasty cheeks. The sound of the rain beating down on the roof was therapeutic, her eyelids fluttered closed as she sought out a small moment of clarity in what had turned out to be a crazy emotional day. Her fingers toyed with the delicate necklace hanging around her neck. It had been a gift from Grissom, a part of her felt guilty for holding onto it after all this time but the sentimental value of the trinket was much more than the actual monetary value.

A small tap on the window brought her out of her dream world and back to the cold wet reality. Grissom stood at the passenger door, crouched under a golf umbrella. Up close she could see the bags under his eyes and the extra worry lines on his forehead. He had aged well considering everything, but his age still showed in the lines on his face. If anything, it made him more endearing.

Grissom slid into the empty seat, taking the time to shake his umbrella at the door. He sat back and let his hands rest in his lap and not a word passed between them for a long time. The silence was uncomfortable, nothing like the silent moments they had once shared. Sara scanned her mind for topics of conversation, she had to break the silence somehow, it was killing her. In the end, it was Grissom who spoke first.

"It's good to see you" He mumbled, keeping his eyes on the windscreen and the flow of water running down it. "I didn't think you'd come"

Sara took a breath, about to reply with a scathing remark before thinking twice. She had thought about the things she would say to him if they were ever face to face again. All the questions and confessions fell silent on her lips and she could barely force herself to shrug a modest shoulder in his direction.

"Are you staying in town?" He sounded hopeful, or she thought he did at least.

"I'm driving back to Vegas" She declared with some amount of defiance. He didn't need to know that her attendance had been a last minute decision, he didn't need to know that she was running on no sleep and had a shift to get back for. "I...I'm sorry about your mother"

Grissom sighed, his eyes studying her intently. She could feel them burning into her but she daren't turn to meet them, she wasn't ready to let her guard down yet.

"Do you want to get something to eat before you go?" Grissom asked rather politely.

Sara quickly weighed up her options. Have dinner with her ex-husband on the say of his mothers funeral or face a 4 hour drive on no food and no sleep in driving rain. Logically she knew that the least of those evils was probably the drive home. She may not come out of that physically unscathed but she would sure as hell survive it emotionally.

"I uhh,,, I should get back" She stumbled. She was sure he could tell she wasn't completely sold on the idea, he could always see through her but he didn't always acknowledge it.

Grissom didn't say anything, choosing instead to switch on the radio look her over with interest. It was making her uncomfortable, something she never expected Grissom's attention to do. His intentions soon became clear though as the newsreader piped up with an announcement declaring that all but essential travel was ill advised. That combined with a mudslide on the highway and a collapsed mine causing traffic chaos meant that she soon found herself sitting in a small, dimly lit restaurant across from the man she had once called her husband.

It was a strange situation to find herself in, they had once been able to talk for hours about nothing and here they sat in silence surrounded by couples on dates and families celebrating birthdays.

"Did I ever take you to this place?" Grissom questioned, Sara shook her head glad of the bowl of soup that found its way to her side "It was my mothers favourite"

Sara looked around, drinking in the quaint atmosphere. She could see why Mrs Grissom would have enjoyed it here. It was a very well run and traditional establishment. The waiters hung on their every word and from the aromatic scents coming from the kitchen she could only assume the cooking was also incredible.

"How have you been?" Grissom asked, suddenly lowering the tone of the conversation. Sara was suddenly taken aback by the question. She wanted to tell him the truth, that she had been lost and alone and confused. She wanted to tell him how her life had completely fallen apart but she was beginning to piece it all together again. She wanted to tell him that her heart had still yearned for him with every breath, but she knew that was not what he wanted to hear.

"I'm fine" She smiled, reverting to her default remark. "How about you?"

She saw a small glimmer of something pass through his eyes, she wondered if it was regret or maybe he saw through her smile to the sorrow beneath it. She wouldn't actually claim to be unhappy any more, although she had been. She had been broken not too long ago but she learned something about herself during that hardship; she was not alone. She had never been alone.

"I'm okay" He nodded, a small hesitation in his voice before he continued "I've been looking after mom"

Sara let her eyes fall to the table. She hadn't wanted to ask but curiosity got the better of her and the question slipped from her lips.

"what happened to her?"

Grissom and Sara spent the next few hours updating each other on their new lives. The restaurant emptied and filled again and the rain eventually gave way to a glorious sunshine. It was time to go home, to face reality once more and stop pretending they were back where they used to be. Sara stood on the pavement beside her truck and found that she was speechless again.

Seeing Grissom again had done her heart good. He was at peace and that was more than she could have hoped for. Still, she took a deep breath when he embraced her during their goodbye, as though preserving the memory.

"It was good seeing you" Grissom whispered as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. It sent a shiver up her spine but yet she remained stoic in her intention of leaving. Seeing him again had taught her one thing, she had moved on. When she looked at him she didn't feel like her heart had been ripped out and stomped on, in fact she felt an enormous amount of love and respect. He was doing well, he was happy and it did her heart good to see that.

Leaving him would not be as difficult as she had anticipated, in fact as she slipped into her truck and adjusted her mirrors she felt a contentment settling over her and a feeling of peace. It had never occurred to her that they could be friends after everything they had been through. She figured that seeing him or speaking to him again would prove to be the most difficult challenge in her life when in actual fact it had been natural.

She pulled away without ceremony, this was an important moment. She was finally leaving that part of her life behind her and properly moving on,taking only one glance in her rear-view mirror at Grissom standing there and watching her leave. He may have been the one to end the marriage but as it turned out she had been the one to leave.


End file.
